I never thought I'd read a cute story about the most infamous terrorist organization in the USA, the Ku Klux Klan (which thankfully has never gone global) -- but lo and behold, in a quirky old biography, I read one. 
The book is Preposterous Papa, by Lew Meyer, which chronicles the story of his father, ebullient pioneer Max Meyer, who blew into Indian Territory in 1906 to set himself up as "Outfitter to Mankind." Hilarity erupted in all of Max's many grand schemes and adventures, and the book was a sleeper hit in 1960.
Photo: the Klan rides in Oklahoma in the 1920s. Via
I can't resist passing along this gem from Preposterous Papa, which, the author assures us, is completely true.
Papa was a joiner. He was a Mason, a Shriner, an Elk, a Moose, a Woodman of the World, a Knight of Pythias, and an Odd Fellow. He desperately wanted to be a Knight of Columbus and almost made it. He was a guest at so many of their meetings that a friend submitted Papa's name as a honorary Knight. The local group voted unanimously for him, but the Bishop raised so much fuss about it that Papa had to resign.
The only organization he didn't join was the Ku Klux Klan, and it wasn't for lack of an invitation. When the Klan terrorists were burning fiery crosses and tarring and feathering Negroes, Catholics, and Jews, three of Papa's oldest friends paid him a visit. They locked themselves in the back room of the house on Oak Street and talked for more than two hours.
Mama could hardly wait for them to leave. "What did they want, Max?" she asked worriedly.
"Annie, they..." He sat down. "Annie, they want me to be a member of the Ku Klux Klan!"
Mama was thunderstruck. "You're Jewish. The Klan hates Jews."
"I know it. They know it, too. But they want me, anyway. Say they feel like heels keepin' me out of anything they belong to."
"What did you tell them?"
Papa straightened up as he spoke. "I told them that they degrade themselves by persecutin' innocent people while hidin' behind sheets. I told them they were bad Christians and a disgrace to their children. I think maybe they're gonna resign from the Klan tomorrow. I lectured 'em hard!"
Maybe those Kluckers learned a lesson or two from Max Meyer.
I want to join the kkk
Posted by: Bryan Joshlin | March 15, 2007 at 05:46 AM
how to join the kkk in mississippi
Posted by: Bryan Joshlin | March 15, 2007 at 06:06 AM
ibelieve we need to save the white race.and keep are heritage alive.so i want to join the fight to save are race.
Posted by: jon crabtree | October 19, 2008 at 08:12 AM
Jon Crabtree: That would be "save OUR race" not "save ARE race". You'll never be a socially acceptable and dignified racist speaking that way. Say, where did you and Mr. Joshlin do your undergraduate work?
Posted by: Kevin M. Sullivan | October 19, 2008 at 04:24 PM
Where can i join the kkk in mississippi.We need to save the white race.Pleace send app
Posted by: Jason Hughes | February 01, 2009 at 12:57 PM
i want to join the kkk how do i join
Posted by: robert | December 11, 2009 at 02:56 AM
Well, Robert, the first thing you must do , is find the tallest building in your city. Take the elevator up to the top floor (the roof is preferable) and find a really good spot to look down. Now, if you don't see the white sheets and hoods, never fear, they're down there! Now, take a deep breath, and jump! Don't worry, they will be able to catch you. This way all of society will understand what you were trying to do...
Good luck, and God's speed; and lots of it!
Posted by: Kevin M. Sullivan | December 11, 2009 at 11:53 AM